By Terry Queen Autrey
I waited 66 years to see the aurora borealis. I had heard so often of the rippling magical lights in the night sky, the brilliant streaks and waves of color.
What I didn’t know then was that the most vivid colors do not appear to the naked eye. They only show up through the lens of your camera. You have to watch the night sky carefully for movement. Your eye may not see the astonishing hues of National Geographic specials, but it can detect the undulating sky. That’s when you grab your camera or phone and aim it at the dancing movements. Your pictures will capture the vibrant violet, red, and fuchsia, the bright lime and chartreuse, and the vision you are seeking will be undeniable.
Somehow, this experience has made me think of DART’s (Domestic Abuse Resistance Team) first thirty years of service.
I can see how this analogy might be a little mystifying, but bear with me.
It’s wonder in reverse.
You see, before DART existed, a grassroots groups of concerned citizens knew that domestic violence was happening right here. Unfortunately, it often could not be seen through the eyes of most people. By now, we all know why. It’s a hidden thing, only coming out when the family is alone or the victim is isolated. We have to be looking through the camera lens of information and awareness. We have to know the signs.
For thirty years, DART has been working to increase the vision and the recognition of our community when it comes to dating and domestic violence. One of the red flags of an unhealthy or potentially abusive relationship is isolating the victim from others, including their friends and family members. Why? Because control over the victim is maintained or increased when there is no one who is watching, no one who suspects, no one who witnesses disrespectful or abusive behavior.
In our first three decades, DART has made tremendous progress in this area. We speak to at least a thousand people every year about the causes and signs of domestic abuse. This includes high school and college classes, clubs, and athletic teams, as well as Greek organizations, faculty, and staff. We give presentations to businesses, civic groups, and churches. We are interviewed by radio and television stations, and newspaper reporters.
For the past thirteen years, there has also been an awareness campaign called Men Standing Strong. In that time, over 750 men have signed a statement that they are opposed to domestic violence and have made a donation to DART when they are asked by another man to join him. Over a hundred of these men have joined this campaign many times. Not only have we developed a large team of men who are supporters and allies, but we have seen the impact of men talking to other men about this issue, and about DART. The results of this stream of awareness have been inspiring.
The most recent example of this impact was evident on Thursday, Oct. 24th, at the Lincoln Parish Candlelight Vigil. Fifty men took the stage that night, and each of them read aloud the name of one person whose life was violently taken by a current or former intimate partner. These men added so much to an annual event we have held since 2001. Their voices were clear and somber. Some of them were choked with emotion. It was a powerful ceremony of remembrance.
And then there is the annual DART Radiothon. The biggest fundraiser of the year for our organization. Begun in 2002, this event now holds twelve straight hours of public awareness, aired live on Q94.1 FM Real Country. All day long, DART staff and board members, volunteers, and community partners talk about their experiences with domestic violence and with DART. Each year, at least three survivors also share their own stories of living with an abusive partner, or losing a loved one to domestic violence.
To return to my opening remarks, I think that the awareness DART has presented to groups and individuals who now share that information widely has done a lot to change the lens through which our community views domestic violence. We may not see the vivid colors of abuse, which ironically match the colors of the aurora borealis – the violet, red, and fuchsia of fresh wounds and bruising, and the vivid shades of green and saffron when those bruises begin to fade – but now we can look for and recognize the signs of that abuse.
Just as we can see movement in the sky that indicates disturbances in the atmosphere, we can also see someone flinch when they hear screaming or other loud noises. We can watch for nervous behavior when their spouse or partner is mentioned, or listen for the stories they offer about how they have been injured. When we know what to look for, we can recognize what might be going on, and then decide how we can help. One thing that can be done at any time is to call the 24-hour domestic violence crisis line – 1-888-411-1333 – and ask questions.
In the meantime, DART thanks all of the people who have stepped up to help us in our work to keep families safe, offer them advocacy and support, and help them to find hope for healing and a better life. We also thank all who have shared information about domestic violence or our services with others. For more information or to arrange for a speaker, feel free to call our office at 513-9373.
