At one time or another, we all deal with disappointment. Things don’t turn out the way we planned. Outcomes fall short of expectations. Maybe someone else lets you down.
As a kid, I looked forward to the day that I would be able to play on my dad’s team. He coached football and basketball. A divorce and subsequent move ended that dream.
As a young adult entering college, I looked forward to getting my degree and landing my first coaching job. However, I was “guided” out of that pursuit early on and ended up with an accounting degree and a CPA certificate. Six months after graduation, I day-dreamed of coaching, not balancing the ledger.
Years into my career with International Paper, I had taken an assignment to turn around a very low performing facility. We far exceeded anyone’s expectations, but a few years later, I was asked to close the facility for reasons that are still hard for me to understand.
Like you, I have seen my share of disappointment, but I can also look back at those instances and now see positives that came from each (and others not mentioned).
Life is full of disappointments:
· Unplanned illnesses that turn our lives upside down and change plans
· Career expectations that are never realized for various reasons
· Dreams of achievements that are never fulfilled
· People that we trust let us down
· Circumstances that we never saw coming change everything
· Prayers that we faithfully pray seem to go unanswered
A real key to living a PLUS LIFE (one where we live out our identity and experience authentic joy) is wrapped around our response to these disappointments. It’s in these disappointing moments that many become angry, bitter, closed off, or just hard-hearted. Many may also become disinterested, discouraged, or depressed. A PLUS LIFE is no longer on the table.
I can’t speak to every situation or even begin to understand what some are going through in their life right now. I will, however, share just a few thoughts that might be helpful as you navigate the ups and downs of life.
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· Perspective: Looking back provides clarity.
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· Process over Achievement: If you crave the achievement but don’t love the process, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
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· Today matters: Dream and plan all you want but never lose sight of the value of today! We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow!
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· The comparison trap: There’s no win here. There’s only downside so just avoid it.
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· Expectations are a problem: Raise your standards not your expectations. Focus on what you control – let go of things you can’t.
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· Better over bitter: It’s a choice. It’s not easy, but I’ve never heard anyone regret it.
We can look at the life of Jesus. In one week, he was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, hated by the crowd, unjustly crucified, and doubted by Thomas.
So, when Jesus says to cast our cares upon him, we know he understands.
Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for good for those that love God.
Disappointment is real, but we can still experience a PLUS LIFE. We need the assurances that God provides, the encouragement of one another, and to remind ourselves that we don’t have the full perspective.
Doug provides professional speaking and coaching services to organizations and individuals. Whether you are looking for a speaker for your next event or a leadership coach to develop people and build a team culture, feel free to reach out to Doug at doug.strickel@gmail.com and learn more about PLUS.
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