Communication is hard.
This simple truth echoes through the paths of our personal and professional lives, revealing its complexities and intricacies. As someone who has spent decades both teaching journalism and navigating the ebbs and flows of personal connections, I’ve come to realize the profound impact words can have on relationships.
Recently, I have come to ponder the clout of communication even more.
I found myself entangled in a communication quagmire with a dear friend, a situation that forced me to confront the fragility of connections and the unintended consequences of our words. It’s a story that many can relate to: a tale of miscommunication, hurt feelings and what turned out to be the slow erosion of a once-close bond.
In the realm of spiritual reflection, the Bible offers timeless guidance on the art of communication. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “the tongue has the power of life and death.” How we choose to wield our words can either breathe life into relationships or cast a shadow that lingers for years. My recent experience underscored the reality that even well-intentioned words can be misconstrued, leading to unintended pain – on both sides of the fence.
My friend, with whom I have shared a journey of faith, suddenly revealed years of grievances, quoting past statements I had made, several of which had escaped my memory. To say that I was taken aback is an understatement, and as I indicated in my previous column, my reaction was not what it should have been – a fact that I deeply regret.
The whole encounter has left me pondering the weight of our words and the importance of genuine communication.
Several poignant lessons emerged, one of which is: We must be vigilant in choosing our words, ensuring that they reflect the love and grace that Christ exemplified. Ephesians 4:29 advises, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Concerning the tapestry of communication, the threads of scripture weave a pattern that transcends the terrestrial challenges we face. James 1:19, in its succinct wisdom, declares, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” This counsel, akin to a gentle breeze guiding a ship through stormy seas, emphasizes the importance of active listening – a skill often overshadowed by the clamor of our own words.
And back to Proverbs, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
In my ponderings, I also learned that communication is not only a human skill, but also a divine gift. God created us to communicate, and he wants us to communicate well and wisely with others, as well as with himself. He gave us his word, the Bible – which is full of wisdom and guidance on how to communicate. He gave us his son, Jesus – the perfect example of communication. He gave us his Spirit – the helper and teacher of communication. And he gave us his grace – the power and motivation of communication.
In the aftermath of my communication missteps, I sought solace in Psalms 141:3, a plea that resonated deeply within me: “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” This prayer acknowledges the vulnerability of our words, recognizing that a momentary lapse can lead to lasting consequences. It’s a reminder that, in the pursuit of effective communication, we must seek divine guidance to temper our speech with wisdom and grace.
If we seek it – if we allow it – our journey through the labyrinth of communication can be illuminated by the light of scripture, a beacon that can guide us with timeless principles.
As we continue to contemplate the impact of communication, let’s return to Proverbs and end on a positive note: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).
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Sallie Rose Hollis lives in Ruston and retired from Louisiana Tech as an associate professor of journalism and the assistant director of the News Bureau. She can be contacted at sallierose@mail.com.
