This fall break, I’ve been working on decluttering my children’s rooms. This is easier to do when they aren’t in the house because every item I find to give away (or, in case of broken or missing parts, throw away) turns out to be THEIR MOST FAVORITE TOY EVER. Even though they’ve outgrown it. Even if it’s broken. Even though they haven’t asked about it in years.
So things got done during my fall break while they were still in school.
However, in the midst of cleaning out for my older daughter, I stumbled upon a treasure that I had forgotten all about – and that truly could be labeled as her “most favorite.” A little backstory: my father passed away in 2016 and my mother in December 2022. Also, I’m an only child. If Kyle or one of the girls asks me about something in my childhood that I don’t remember, I gently joke, “Well, that institutional knowledge is no longer available.” Because there are a lot of things that I don’t know and that I can’t ask a parent any longer.
But this book I discovered in my daughter’s room – this gives me some of that knowledge back.
It’s called “Grandmother Remembers,” and my mother purchased and started writing in 2015 – a year before my second daughter was born. The book has prompts which request her hand write answers to questions about her grandparents, her parents, herself, and what I was like as a child – again, things that are absolutely precious to me and to my girls. She wrote in total in about half of the book, which is fine – that’s the part that talks about our family history that I didn’t live through myself.
She added more to it, too, the month before she died. Her handwriting is much shakier in that blue ink, but it is definitely readable and understandable. What’s so fun, too, is that some of her humor comes through, and I’m so glad to have that.
For instance, when she talks about my maternal grandparents, she wrote that her father taught her to work hard and be honest – while her mom taught her the importance of looking good. She was always well known for wearing flashy clothes and wearing large earrings (she told my dad she had big ears, so she needed big earrings – not sure if that was just a way to get larger pieces of jewelry or if she truly believed that, but I remember that). When talking about how she met my dad, she wrote about how they met at a community dance, which I knew. She said my dad was attracted to her because “of the way I started at the door and looked everything over before walking on in to the dance. Of course, I was also told I was a hot looking number.”
LOVE it.
My parents eloped on May 16, 1969, and they went on a honeymoon in New Orleans. I didn’t know that.
There is a little about me in the book, but I have more in my baby book, which she kept way better than I kept my two girls’. There is one comment about, “Wayne (my father) and I were proud of everything Judith did. Him, unreasonably so.” We used to joke that if I wanted encouragement and to feel good, ask him how I did on something. If I wanted the truth, ask her.
I am so thankful that she purchased this book so many years ago and even more so that she added more details right before she passed. I don’t remember how I came in possession of this book. I remember her talking about it briefly, but I don’t remember if she gave it to me or if I found it in her house after her passing. But I have it now, and that is a blessing.
And what a great book of personal history of which to be thankful.
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