It may take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to prevent abuse.
Donna Bernard, child advocate with the Domestic Abuse Resistance Team, said adults need to realize that a child who is being abused may not act like a stereotypical victim.
“Kids want those adults they respect — a parent, or a teacher, pastor, or friend — to respect them,” Bernard said. “The image they present to the world is important, and they do not want to be considered a victim.”
As a result, kids react and handle bullying and abuse in dozens of ways — some healthy and some not healthy.
“Some retaliate; some withdraw and isolate as much as possible,” Bernard said. “Without intervention, depression, failing grades, and/or substance abuse is possible. What we would like them to do is include a caring, competent adult who will take the issue very seriously.”
Unfortunately, though, Bernard said kids are often reluctant to tell an adult about any abuse.
“Studies show that it is possible that the older the child is, the more he or she may feel that they should be handling it themselves,” she said. “Another reason, if they find refuge in a classroom setting or when they finally walk through the door at home, they want to enjoy the ‘escape.’”
One way to recognize abuse, Bernard said, is to watch for red flags.
“To recognize problems — including bullying — that a child may be experiences, the number one thing I tell volunteers, interns, our staff and parents is to spend time with children, making sure your listening ears are turned on,” she said. “Don’t be shy to share with them minor obstacles in your day so they can see how adults calmly handle conflict — for instance, having a repair made and being overcharged. If they see an adult handle conflict in a calm manner, they are more likely to come to that adult with a problem of their own.”
The Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services reported that 3,271 cases of abuse and neglect had been reported in the Monroe region in 2020. Lincoln Parish is included in that area.
If abuse is suspected in a child, the child’s feelings must come first.
“When you suspect a child is being abused, make the child’s feelings the number one priority,” Bernard said. “As you move forward in reporting, include the child in decision making about resolving the bullying. Remember, sometimes it may be the choice of the child — especially at first — to talk to a trusted adult other than a parent.”
Bernard is available to speak on bullying and teen dating violence for a class, school, club or school organization. Call 318-243-4522 for more information.
