Ponderings by Doug

This is a test for the guys.

You are at home entertaining a group of people. During the conversation your wife asks you to find something that is in her purse. What do you do? The question is for guys only.

There is an unwritten guy rule concerning the purse. “Thou shalt not go into the purse of thine wife under any circumstance, lest thou be tossed outside the man-cave.” I am not sure who first stated this rule. It is a standing guy rule. It is more a male instinct than a rule that is taught. There are many reasons for not digging in a purse.

First reason, some other guy may witness you digging in a purse. This purse watcher might not know you are married to the owner of the purse. He might see you pull make-up out of the purse and wonder if the purse and the make-up are yours. In some circles purse and make-up possession will cut down on the number of invitations for you to share another guy’s deer stand, duck blind, bass boat or man-cave.

Second reason, you might reach in the purse and pull out something you don’t understand. There are things in the purse of which a male has no knowledge. We don’t know what they are or what they are for. You don’t want to pull something out of the purse and not understand what you are holding. The consequences are like those stated above.

Third reason, there are dangerous items in a purse. She might have been to the hardware store and purchased a mousetrap. Rather than carry the mousetrap around, she stuffed it into her purse. You don’t want to set off a mouse trap or stab yourself with the many sharp implements hiding in the purse. There are trimming and cutting devices in a purse. Males know this only because we have witnessed a purse being dumped out on the kitchen table when something is “lost” in the purse.

Fourth reason, as stated above, there is much stuff in the purse. If in front of witnesses she asks you to find a widget and you can’t and must confess that before the same witnesses; that will do great damage to the male ego. It is especially injurious when she reaches in the purse and finds the widget immediately.

Last reason, it is not your purse. It is not your business, is it? Even when given permission, the male should never peruse the purse. 

There is a corollary to this rule. “Thou shalt not wander through the cell phone of thine wife, lest thou be expelled from the man-cave.” If the purse is off limits, so is the cell phone.

Now talk among yourselves about this. If you are thinking, “She is my wife and everything she has is mine” then we need to talk about boundaries. If you are curious about what you might find, we really need to talk about something very important for healthy happy relationships.

The central issue is trust. When we refuse to look in or place our hands inside the purse, we are displaying trust. We are not being lazy, cute, or even a curmudgeon. We are showing respect for and trust in the spousal owner of the purse. Haven’t thought about it like that have you?

Who do you trust?

Trust is the soil in which love grows. When trust is broken it is almost impossible for the relationship to be restored, right? How many times have you said, “I don’t trust ________.” The blank can be filled with the name of a person, a vocation, or an institution. Maybe rather than conversation we need to confess where we have broken the trust of another. 

Are you a trusting and trustworthy person? If not, you can be transformed.

Jesus has asks for your trust. Do you trust Him?