Kids say

I frequently post on Facebook random things that my kids say because sometimes I just need the social media world to share in the hilarity. So, for the enjoyment of the LPJ community, please enjoy this snapshot into my children’s lives: 

Picking out a birthday gift for her older sister… 
Me: “What do you want to get your sister for her birthday? Pajamas, a shirt, nail polish…?” 
Younger: “Oh, no. I want to get her a toy.” 
Me: “Oh, okay, a toy.” 
Younger: “Yeah, because you can grow out of pajamas and a shirt and run out of nail polish, but toys last forever.” 
Me: “Ah, I see.” 
Younger: “And if you don’t want the toy anymore, you can give it to your sister.” 


Me: “Tell your grandmother what book you read today.” 
Younger: “The Very Shabby Bunny.” 
Grandmother: “What?” 
Me: “Oh. She means, ‘The Velveteen Rabbit.’ But I will be referring to it as ‘The Very Shabby Bunny’ from now on.” 


Younger: “Mommy, when I grow up, can I be a Husky dog?” 
Me: “Sure, baby. Whatever.” 
Older: (runs up to me and whispers) “MOM. You know she can’t really be a Husky dog, right??” 


Me: “How was your first day of school?” 
Younger: “GREAT. My teacher is THE greatest.” 
Me: “That’s wonderful! What was your favorite part about today?” 
Younger: “Naptime. I needed some rest.” 

Me: “Don’t be so loud. It’ll wake your little sister.” 
Older: “I wasn’t being loud.” 
Me: “Yes, that was loud.” 
Older: “It wasn’t as loud as a lion. A lion’s roar can be heard for five miles or 85 football fields. It wasn’t as loud as that.” 
Me: (pause) “It was loud enough.”  


Me: (brushing her hair) “That piece of hair looks shorter than the rest.” (Teasing) “Did you cut it?” 
Older: “I don’t remember.” 
Me: “What?? How do you not remember if you cut your own hair? Did you or did you not?” 
Older: “How am I supposed to remember everything I did?” 


Older: “Mosquitoes are just ghost wasps.”  


Me: “Here’s some leftover cupcakes from the Valentine party.” 
(Husband eats two) 
Younger: “You know I licked all of those, right?”