I would bet 100% of the people asked would say they want to be happy. The problem is that happiness is conditional. It depends on the conditions being met to generate the feeling of happiness. It doesn’t matter how much we want happiness; life is full of variability and conditions are constantly changing. I recall growing up being caught in the “performance trap”. If I played well, then I would be happy. If I performed at a desired level, then I would feel good about myself. The conditional if/then scenarios dictated how I felt way too often.
Many of us identify a destination or goal and focus everything in our life around achieving those results. We see the process in life only as a means to the end and miss the joy in the journey. We are stuck with “destination disease”. All too often, we finally get to the destination only to immediately move on to the next thing. Our life can easily be known for extreme highs, disappointing lows, and long periods of frustration as we wait.
In contrast, joy is not conditional. Joy is a state of fulfillment experienced when we are operating in a process that pursues our purpose and is consistent with our identity. Joy is contentment within the process even if we are seeking improvement. Joy is satisfaction operating in the process as we seek to drive advancement. When we can find joy in training, studying, working, parenting, relating, serving, teaching, and all those other processes of life, we can look forward to each day.
I was recently working with a client on a project and things were getting a little tense within the client’s organization. I thought I was offering clear guidance and wise counsel, but they were struggling internally to identify a next step for their organization. My initial thoughts were ones of growing frustration as I listened to the conversation. However, as I reminded myself of my purpose (add value to others), I quickly regained my perspective and focus on working within my process. I seek results, but realize they will come and go, but there is always joy working within the process.
The key is to identify a purpose and identity that we desire and then to organize our life around those items as much as we can. Ask yourself the following questions:
When I’m experiencing a good day, what am I spending my time on? Do my habits and lifestyle (process) contribute or detract from more of those days?
Responding to those two questions will help clarify joy for you. When you can start to see joy as a verb (process that we are doing) rather than a noun (destination to reach), you will experience life differently.
You may not be able to make major changes in your life immediately, but you can take the next right step for you. Clarify the identity you want, the purpose you are seeking, and the lifestyle (process) that will align with those items. The more you operate within that process, the more joy you will experience!
Secondly, I have seen results also improve as one follows a process that brings joy. Coach Saban is famous at the University of Alabama for not only winning football championships, but for talking about his process for success. When we have a sound process that we not only trust, but find joy in the midst, we look forward to engaging and doing the foundational things that may just yield those desired results as well. Regardless, there is joy in the journey.
