By Brandon Ramsey
I thought about asking the editor to put the parental advisory sticker that they put on some cd covers at the first of this article. Not because of the content, but to entice more readers to pay attention. Isn’t it interesting how that little warning label that is suppose to help steer us away from racy subject tends to do the opposite. It tends to draw our curiosity instead of detour it. In the same way that the “Director’s Cut” label on a video rental use to do at Blockbuster. Don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.
In a previous article I stated that pornographic material is addictive. It only takes one pop-up add or advertisement on the side of a website to capture our interest. These little teasers are not there to advertise a season in your life full of regret, secrets, or shady behavior. Just like the super bowl ads are not expensive thirty second spots showing rehabs and detox centers. We never see the somewhat innocent beginning as a problem. The real problem is that those ads and beginnings are just there to get our mind wandering what else is out there. The ads are the hook, the initial rush, the trail of breadcrumbs leading to the next best thing. Then those acts that you are watching become boring or casual to you, and you search for a bigger rush. That is the first step of addiction. If it was a true advertisement of what is to come, we would all steer clear of it.
One of the biggest misconceptions about addiction is that it is about the high. At first yes, but eventually it is about filling a need. Unfortunately, when it comes to pornography, it is a need that cannot be filled through intimacy with a spouse. This is because the act that is being played out in front of you on a page or TV screen is not real. There are no emotional ties to it. It is just about the act. This is why porn is devastating to a man’s participation in an intimate relationship. And probably not in the way you are thinking. I say all the time that intimacy for a male and a female is completely different. I know! I know! Everyone of you are saying in unison, “DUH!”
What I mean is the mental aspect. Men can be willing to be intimate in a minute, but for a woman true intimacy starts at six in the morning. For her, intimacy is tied into how she is treated and the security she feels in the relationship. It is important that each spouse understand that about their mate. Pornography really skews the male’s view of intimacy and hinders him from helping his spouse feel secure. Especially if the woman is aware that porn is affecting the relationship.
That is why it is so important to try to take as many precautions as possible to prevent exposure. The most dangerous thing that can be said about pornography is, “I would never get involved in that. There is nothing to worry about.” No matter how sure you are that it will never happen to you, it is just a lack of intelligence and respect for those that you love not to have a plan for protection. And you know the old words of wisdom about planning. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Next week I will help you plan to protect you family from one of the most devastating things that could happen in your family.
