COLUMN: Ponderings by Doug

We once attempted to haul a recliner from Lake Charles to Baton Rouge. It was an elegant recliner. I had finished reclining in it and our daughter needed a recliner for her study chair. She needed a recliner to sit in front of a very large television, but that is another story. My wife asked if we should tie the recliner down. I made some glib remarks about recliners and aerodynamic qualities. I told her the recliner would stay in the back of the truck against the cab. It would be fine. About 72 mph on I-10 that recliner took flight. I will never say to someone “when pigs fly” because in my world they can.

The other day we had a nice rain in Gibsland. Prior to the rain, there was wind. It was not that strong. The highest gust on my nerd backyard weather station was 17 mph. That is not much wind blowing.

A couple of weeks ago, a greenhouse arrived in my backyard. It is a small 10’ x 20’ house. I have determined that this winter I’m not going to freeze out all the ferns and other plants. I’ve done an admirable job of keeping these plants alive during this apocalyptic heat and drought. The greenhouse is in process. The house is down. The tables are purchased. The base had yet to be installed. You have to put a nice base in your greenhouse, or the weeds will grow all winter in the greenhouse.

I had installed a nice solar powered flood light in the greenhouse. I have purchased the necessary equipment to keep the plants nice and comfortable in the winter months. In my mind, I have a plan for where the plants will reside in the greenhouse.

The structure has flaps on either end. I had both flaps opened so the dogs could go in and out at their pleasure. The breeze was keeping the greenhouse mildly comfortable in the heat.

I made a discovery; greenhouses will fly in 17 mph wind. With both flaps opened I created a wind tunnel and the house got lift. The whole structure flew. It didn’t fly far. The flight was interrupted by the doggy shed next to it. Yes, my dogs have their own air conditioned shed complete with doggy door and a television. My dogs are not spoiled!

I have attached a picture of the greenhouse after its flight. The greenhouse is back in place. It is ripped to smithereens. It will need a new cover. The solar lighting was destroyed in the crash. The greenhouse not only flew, but it also rotated 180 degrees. I saw the aftermath. I would have enjoyed watching the greenhouse get wings.

The only moral I can come up with is that you need to keep your flaps closed on a breezy day. My greenhouse expert laughed at me. Seems he learned that flap lesson in a tornado in Castor this spring. He had four or five houses get wings.

The Apostle Paul said it for us rookie greenhouse owners, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…” Thanks Paul, you should have told me to keep my flaps zipped during a thunderstorm!