By Doug Strickel
My son and I recently spent the weekend in College Station, Texas. We watched the Aggies play a baseball game on Friday night and watched the A&M vs LSU football game Saturday night. I have been to a lot of college football games over the years in big venues. I’ve watched LSU, UT, Arkansas, and many others. All of those are great programs with outstanding atmospheres! However, A&M was just different!
It’s not that they had more people. It’s not that their fans had stronger lung capacity. It’s not that they are better fans. After watching 10,000 people engage in a baseball game on Friday night that doesn’t even count as a “real game” and watching 110,000 engage in the LSU football game, I discovered the difference at A&M compared to other places.
A&M fans attend the game assuming responsibility to impact the game. They truly embrace their 12th man mentality. The University designates 1/3 of the stadium to students, and these students stand the entire time doing everything they can to impact the game. The rest of the stadium follows suit. It doesn’t matter what the score is or who they are playing. The A&M crowd feels responsible for doing their part beyond just enjoying the game, cheering for their team, or voicing displeasure when things aren’t going well.
Set football aside for just a moment and consider the impact of embracing that same mindset in your life. What if we approached work, home, community, and relationships with a responsibility mindset rather than one full of expectations. I talk all the time about “Raise your Standards not your Expectations”. It’s the same concept.
Expectations are outcome based. Expectations are wants, wishes, or desires that, when honest, we really don’t control. We go to a game with the expectation that our team will play well and win. We place expectations on career advancement. We place expectations on others’ performance or achievement. We place expectations on any number of things that we have little control over. If our expectations aren’t met, we are disappointed, and if it goes on long enough, we become disengaged.
Expectations are just a prelude to disappointment and will often lead to discouragement, self-esteem issues, and potentially even depression. Whether we are placing expectations on ourselves or others, these outcome based “wants” can be harmful.
There is an alternative. Standards are input based actions that are controllable. Standards are the norms that we operate within, the habits that we embrace, and the lifestyle that we experience. Standards are tangible ways of taking responsibility (refer to A&M crowd) for the actions we take that lead us in the direction of the outcomes we want. The focus is on the inputs and not the outcomes.
We remove the pressure and frustration of expectations and replace them with a focus of standards and responsibility. We do our “right things” and realize that we are creating an environment for positive outcomes. We move away from wishes, wants, and desires, and focus on taking ownership of our actions. We stop complaining and start doing. We stop seeking (to receive) and start striving (to give). We stop dividing and start uniting.
Last Saturday night proved to me that mindset and purpose make a difference. It was louder and more impactful! They weren’t better fans, but rather were fans with a standard. They had a job to do! They were the 12th man. How that same mindset would change our workplaces, our schools, our homes, and our relationships.
Raise your standards, not your expectations!
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