By Doug Strickel
I have thought about writing this one for years. However, I have started it and deleted it so many times that I quit counting. The reason – it’s way too personal and, after all, I write to impact others not to receive therapeutic benefits.
However, I wonder how many others could relate to and benefit from these key messages? I’m thinking of many, so here we go. My top 10 life lessons:
- Don’t ever allow yourself to live in Victim Land: So, my parents divorced when I was ten. I had little relationship with my dad, we were poor in every sense of the word, and I didn’t have experiences that many others around me had. However, God provided for my needs in amazing ways and provided a perspective to look beyond circumstances and press on to a better future! I need to remember to never lose that dependence!
- Don’t fear failure: I have let the fear of failure keep me pursuing opportunities since I was fifteen years old. I viewed uncomfortable situations as something to be avoided. I sought safe, secure, and winnable situations. Why pursue uncertainty? I might fail! If I could just do so many things over! I need to embrace opportunities not run from uncertainty!
- Don’t meet expectations – reach potential: I have always been reliable, consistent, and dependable. Those are fine, but I often used that as a crutch. I did what was asked, but not more. I met the requirement but didn’t set myself apart by doing “one more”. I need to pursue my potential even if that means chasing failure.
- Don’t rush it: I have a history of being more driven by the accomplishment than the destination. I earned an accounting degree in four years and passed the CPA exam on the first try. Did I really want to be a CPA? Did I take the time to evaluate college majors, key career moves, and key decisions? It’s not a race to the finish line. I need to slow down, take a breath, gain perspective, and make better decisions.
- Don’t miss what’s in front of you looking down the road: So, I have not always lived in the moment and am guilty of looking ahead. The problem with looking ahead is that you miss the opportunity of the moment. I need to live, be present, and recognize the greatness found in the current moment.
- Don’t let others steal your identity: Ok, I admit it! I allowed those that were loud, confident, and opinionated to impact how I carried myself. I let them steal my identity for a period. While they didn’t have my social security number or bank records, they controlled who I was when they were around. I need to live out my identity irrespective of others.
- Don’t get caught up in the comparison trap: Life’s not fair based on how we see fairness. The most deserving doesn’t always win. The hardest worker is not always rewarded. I could go on, but we got it. I need to be happy for others, celebrate their wins, and pursue my purpose in light of God’s plan for me!
- Don’t miss the joy of the process worrying about the result: I realize we live in a results-based world. Far too often, though, I have missed the joy found in the little things because I was so caught up in the pursuit of desirable results. I need to lean into the small things and truly see the joy in life aside from just pushing for results!
- Don’t shy away from connecting with people: I truly wish I had embraced this concept years ago. People are generally great to connect with, and those few that aren’t help us appreciate all the rest! I need to connect with people daily!
- Don’t avoid the uncomfortable: I had a history of “avoiding” if I could. If there were no immediate consequences, why deal with something uncomfortable? I can tell you that it leads to a life of regret! I need to embrace the uncomfortable so that I can be the person and have the impact I desire.
There you go. My top 10 life lessons. If you notice, the statements are generally in the past tense, but the encouragement is forward looking! We can’t change the past, but we can impact today!
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