by “Johnny Cakes”
I love baseball a lot.
It’s based upon what I know about baseball that causes me to conclude that God had nothing to do with inventing this game. Let’s look at why I feel this way.
First off, there’s absolutely nothing about baseball that’s fair! Let’s examine a few reasons why I know baseball isn’t fair. Baseball quickly weeds out all of the “top waters” who think they have to be successful all the time to be happy in life. Write it down. Constant success ain’t happening in baseball. You have to work really hard just to keep your head above water in baseball.
A very wise man once said, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn!” I’m fairly certain that guy played and thoroughly understood the constant disappointment you experience in baseball. Baseball requires that its best players be “true scholars of the game” who are always willing to learn after every failure and every loss. Who else but a truly committed baseball player could accept all that “losing and learning” and keep their sanity?
Good baseball players instinctively know that you don’t learn much from a “win.” It’s from the “losses” that you gain the most insight. It’s from the defeats that you see where and how to improve your game. Good baseball players know that if you’re paying attention and apply what you’ve learned, that loss shows you how to get your next win.
Let’s look a just a few reasons why we all know that baseball is unfair.
First, as a batter, when you’re standing at the plate, there are nine clearly defined opponents and at least one umpire in the field and ALL 10 OF THEM are 100% committed to getting the batter “out” just as expeditiously as possible. When the deck is stacked at least 10-1 against the batter, I’ll let you answer the question. Is baseball fair?
Next, as a batter, you only get three missed swings (called strikes) before you’re declared to be “out.” But that devious pitcher—unfairly I might add—has four opportunities (called balls) that he can throw at you while trying to get you out before you are issued a “free pass” to first base. Now, I’m no great mathematician, but depending upon which number you decide to call the denominator, that 4-ball, 3-strike rule is either a 33% or a 25% built-in advantage for the pitcher. I ask again! Is that fair?
Consider this. When the batter goes up to the plate the first time in a game, do you have any idea what the ump’s strike zone looks like? No sir, you do not & that’s just the way that scheming umpire wants it. That truly nefarious umpire is the BOSS on the field and he unilaterally gets to decide what the strike zone should look like today. Is that fair?
It’s been my long-held belief that the umpire naturally tends to favor the opposing pitcher. You only need to consider how much trouble OUR batters have reaching base safely to know this is a true statement.
Once the strike zone is established, the umpire can change his mind at any point in time during the game without consultation and/or agreement with OUR batters and/or coaches. You’ll also notice that umpires always make these devious and malicious “strike zone” changes while OUR team is batting. The timing of these changes is 100% intentional. Is that fair? No sir, it is not.
Did you notice that most of these blatantly biased “strike zone changes” are made immediately after you’ve noticed the opposing catcher has been engaged in a very secretive and obviously nefarious conversation with the umpire? Where’s my proof? Have you ever contemplated why the opposing catcher doesn’t want to be “mic’d up” during the game? Opposing catchers are busy the entire game trying to sway the umpire to make calls in their team’s favor and they don’t want anyone else to know what they’re saying to the ump, therefore no microphone on them! Is that fair? You tell me!
In general, opposing catchers—like the umpires—are devious people and they are not to be trusted any farther than you can throw them! Now, don’t try to tell me that OUR catcher has the same opportunity to try to “sweet talk” or sway the umps. It should be completely obvious that OUR catcher is just not as verbally persuasive as the other team’s catcher! Those other catchers are truly some “slick-tongued devils” with not a righteous bone in their body. OUR catcher can’t even get a date with a girl, much less sway an umpire. The stats show that when asked out on a date, girls have “turned down OUR catcher more times than a bed spread.”
Now, let’s look at one other fact about the game of baseball. What other industry pays so much money to employees who succeed only 33% of the time? However, as a MLB batter, it’s a “lead pipe” cinch that you will go into the Hall of Fame if your failure rate at home plate is only 67% of the time. Think about it. Would you want to invest in a company whose leader succeeds a third of the time? From a financial success basis, that sure doesn’t sound logical, smart, or fair to me. Yet, that’s baseball. “Failing less” is all that matters.
When you consider all the facts, it’s clear to me that God didn’t have anything to do with inventing baseball!
