In the New Testament book of Matthew Chapter 18, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone. Jesus tells him there is no limit.
Now, we don’t know exactly what prompted Peter to ask this question. Likely, he was wronged in some way and sincerely wanted to know Jesus’s thoughts on forgiveness.
Whether you are a Bible reader or not, there is a lot to take away from that brief conversation.
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We are going to be “wronged” at some point
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There may be some repeated actions that cause continued problems
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Many of us may question the benefits of forgiveness
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Jesus states that there are no limits to forgiveness
As you hear that response, you may say,” That sounds great, but you don’t know my story. You don’t know what happened to me”. I understand that issue and by no means can relate to every case of wrong-doing and forgiveness.
Consider this statement though regarding forgiveness:
Forgiveness is more for the forgiver, the one wronged, and/or the one wrestling with the choice to forgive. The ability to forgive provides freedom. That freedom allows us to move forward, to let go, and to redirect.
If we are harboring anger, resentment, and bitterness toward someone (that we feel wronged us), we can become consumed with those thoughts and feelings. When we dwell on revenge, getting even, and division, we can become consumed with negativity. We can become victims to our own mindset.
Choosing to forgive, whether the other party is seeking forgiveness or not, can be one of the most significant decisions we can make. We are not justifying the other party’s actions, but we are affirming our desire to:
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Live a joy-filled life, not one rooted in bitterness
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Focus on the future, not the past
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Restoring relationships, not fracturing friendships
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Choose victory over circumstances, rather than become a victim of them
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Focus our thoughts on positive growth, not negative vengeance
Forgiveness may not equate to forgetting because sometimes the “wrong” won’t go away, but it does mean we aren’t controlled by it going forward. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we just look the other way or make poor decisions, but it does mean we move forward in victory not hindered by defeat.
I recall a speaking engagement within the last year. The individual introducing me made a very unnecessary, negative comment about me during the introductory comments. I assume he thought it was funny.
For me, it was like a knife just plunged through me right before I was to engage with the group. I quickly had to pivot, forget it, and serve the audience. I have encountered the person several times since that event. I have chosen to forgive and move on. We haven’t discussed it, nor has it negatively impacted our relationship. I don’t need an explanation; I just chose to forgive and move on.
Are you holding on to anger, bitterness, or resentment that you need to let go of in some way? Is there someone you need to forgive to free yourself up to live a more joy-filled life?
Maybe that someone you need to forgive is yourself! It could be the best choice you could make!
Doug equips leaders to make organizations better. He has two leadership books available on all online platforms. Whether you are looking for a speaker for your next event or a leadership coach to develop people and build an authentic team, contact Doug at doug.strickel@gmail.com and learn more about PLUS
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