Every day I see something on social media that makes me smile.
And every day I see something that makes me cringe.
I’m not trying to be judgmental, but Facebook, X, Instagram, TikTok and whatever new platform has popped up this week have changed the way we live. Sometimes it’s for the better.
Too often, though, I think it’s for the worse.
I spend a lot of time around college student-athletes. Almost three decades worth of time. And one thing I’ve noticed is how much different today’s athletes are forced to navigate than those from a generation ago.
Yes, they deal with the same pressures of school, competition and growing up.
But now they do it under a microscope.
Every game is analyzed. Every mistake is replayed. Every opinion is shared. Sometimes before they even make it back to the locker room.
Social media didn’t create every mental health challenge facing young people today. That would be far too simple an explanation.
But I have a hard time believing it isn’t a major contributor.
When I started working in college athletics, mental health wasn’t discussed the way it is today. That doesn’t mean those struggles didn’t exist. They certainly did. But young people weren’t carrying around a device that allowed hundreds or thousands of people to instantly criticize them, compare themselves to others or constantly seek approval through likes and comments.
That’s a heavy burden for anyone, much less an 18- or 19-year-old still trying to figure out who they are.
The truth is, though, this isn’t just a young people’s problem.
Sometimes I think adults are even worse.
We’ve become a society that feels compelled to share everything. What we had for dinner. What we bought. Where we went. What we think about every political issue, every referee’s call, every coach’s decision and every person we’ve never actually met.
Somewhere along the way, we stopped believing every thought needed to stay inside our own heads. Even worse, social media has made us comfortable saying things we would never say face to face. Just scroll through the comments after a college team loses a game.
These days everyone is an expert. Regardless of the topic, we all seem to know how to do it better than the other person. Sports. Education. Business. Politics.
That’s one of the great ironies of social media. It has given everyone a microphone but hasn’t required anyone to have experience.
Don’t get me wrong. Social media isn’t all bad.
I’m a Facebook guy. Sometimes Instagram. No TikTok account for this guy. Maybe that’s because I’m showing my age.
I enjoy seeing pictures of old friends, keeping up with people I don’t get to see very often and celebrating the good things happening in their lives. Those are wonderful uses of these platforms.
But I’ve also found myself unfollowing or unfriending more people than ever before. Not because we disagree.
Reasonable people can disagree. In fact, healthy disagreement is a good thing. It challenges us to think, to learn and sometimes even to change our minds.
There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion. There’s nothing wrong with sharing one, either.
But maybe we’ve reached the point where we should all pause before hitting “Post” and ask ourselves a simple question: Does this really need to be said? Or, at least, is there a better way — a less confrontational way — to say it?
Sometimes the answer is yes.
Sometimes the better answer is to keep scrolling.
There’s an old saying: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
I sometimes wonder if that advice has ever been more relevant than it is in the age of social media.
Opinions are important. Strong convictions are part of who we are. But if our opinions always come wrapped in insults and finger-pointing, maybe we’re not trying to persuade anyone anymore. Maybe we’re just trying to win an argument.
What’s not healthy is feeling the need to criticize everything and everyone. Somewhere along the way, we’ve confused having an opinion with believing we’re obligated to share every opinion.
The people who created these platforms did exactly what they intended to do. They got us hooked. And before I point fingers at everyone else, I have to point one back at myself.
Every week my phone sends me one of those screen time reports telling me how many hours a day I’ve spent staring at it. Every week I look at the number and think, “There’s no way that’s right.”
Then I realize it probably is.
Honestly, it’s a little scary. If nothing else, it’s proof that we took the bait — hook, line and sinker.
The platforms are designed to keep us scrolling. That’s their business model. But at some point, we have to decide whether we’re going to let an algorithm determine how we spend our time, our attention and, ultimately, our lives.
Maybe before we hit “Post,” we should spend a little more time looking in the mirror and a little less time looking at everyone else.
