I’ve given this advice before: Write the letter. Make the call. Reach out to someone who’s been on your mind.
Apparently, I’m better at giving advice than taking it.
Years ago, I wrote a column titled “The garden of reuniting and connectivity” that began with the Alfred Tennyson quotation, “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you …”
At the time, I found myself in a renaissance of reconnecting with people from my past.
There were college friends and former students. There were four-hour lunches filled with reminiscing and laughter. There was even an old church friend in Arizona whom I inexplicably felt the need to email one evening. His reply stunned me. He and his wife were going through a difficult time, and the night before, he had prayed that the Lord would send a friend to encourage them. During his prayer, I had come to mind.
You would think an experience like that would teach a person to pay attention when someone repeatedly pops into her thoughts.
You would think.
One person who has popped into mine frequently through the years is Rosemary Ellis, one of my former Louisiana Tech journalism students. Rosemary went on to an extraordinary career in national magazines, including years as editor-in-chief of Good Housekeeping. Today, she leads a nonprofit organization in New York City. But those accomplishments aren’t always why she comes to mind.
Sometimes it’s something as simple as “Murder, She Wrote.” During her college years, Rosemary loved the show. Watching Jessica Fletcher solve a Sunday-night murder was her way of winding down before another week began.
These days, I often turn on “Murder, She Wrote” as part of my bedtime relaxation routine. Frequently when I do, I think about Rosemary.
In fact, whenever we’ve reconnected through the years, we’ve both said the same thing: “I think about you a lot.”
So why weren’t we talking?
Good question.
Recently, I went to Rosemary’s LinkedIn page. I decided that instead of simply thinking about her, I was going to contact her. I sent a message and asked if we could get together through FaceTime or whatever method worked best.
Then something interesting happened.
A few days later, Facebook Memories delivered that old “garden of reuniting and connectivity” column right back to me. Coincidence?
Perhaps. But I’ve learned not to discount the timing of those little nudges that come our way. Sometimes I wonder whether God isn’t quietly reminding us of something we already know but haven’t been doing.
Today, Rosemary and I finally talked. For an hour.
We caught up on our lives. We remembered. We laughed. We talked about people and places and years long gone. Once again, I was reminded that time and distance don’t necessarily erase the bonds we form with people who have mattered to us.
But those bonds shouldn’t live only in our memories. People are among God’s greatest gifts to us, and relationships require more than remembrance. Love sometimes needs a verb.
The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”
“One another” requires another person. It requires reaching beyond ourselves. Sometimes it requires writing the note, sending the message or making the call we’ve been meaning to make. And sometimes, perhaps, it means paying attention when a certain person keeps coming to mind.
So today I’m offering advice I’ve offered before, but this time I’m doing so after actually following it myself.
Is there someone you’ve been thinking about lately? Don’t just wonder how they’re doing. Find out. Send the message. Write the letter. Make the call.
After all, they just might be thinking about you a lot, too.
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Sallie Rose Hollis lives in Ruston and retired from Louisiana Tech as an associate professor of journalism and the assistant director of the News Bureau. She can be contacted at sallierose@mail.com.
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