By Doug Strickel
What were you afraid of growing up? As a child, was it the fear of the dark, noises at night, or scary stories? As you grew older, those fears possibly turned into a fear of rejection, embarrassment, or not meeting expectations.
For me, it was a fear of failure. I had an unhealthy performance-based identity, and I constantly battled with the fear of not performing well, letting teammates down, or not meeting my own expectations. I don’t remember much about childhood fears, but I sure remember that fear of failure as a teenager.
What are you afraid of today? Many have fears rooted in health issues, financial matters, and vocational pursuits. Some will say they fear flying, fear heights, or fear speaking in public. As we grow older, some may say they fear death. There are many things that can create fear in our lives.
If we were to probe deep enough into these fears, many are rooted in uncertainty. If we knew how things would turn out, our fears would likely diminish, but life is full of uncertainty.
So how does one deal with fear? How can we deal with both the fears of an unknown future along with those fears we brought with us from adolescence (remember those that I mentioned above – rejection, embarrassment, etc.) that didn’t just go away?
For one, it’s not a matter of just trying harder. There are examples in life where we do need to put forth more effort and try harder, but facing real fear is likely not one of those examples. If it were just that easy, but it’s not.
To effectively deal with fear, I would suggest the concept of “replacement”. Replace the fear with something stronger!
- Faith: replace fear associated with an uncertain future with faith. My faith in a loving God that controls eternity enables me to overcome fear rooted in earthly concerns.
- Love: replace fear focused on self-preservation and acceptance with love for others. 1 John 4:18 says, “Perfect love casts out all fear”.
- Purpose: replace fear of failure with a commitment to pursue a meaningful purpose that overrides the fear of a temporary setback.
- Hope: replace fear driven by negative thoughts with a mindset change to gratitude. Gratitude will direct one to positivity and away from negativity and fear.
Someone recently asked me if I was fearful speaking at a full arena at the La Tech commencement ceremonies a few weeks ago. The answer was no. I didn’t think about it as a performance. I sincerely prayed and diligently prepared to convey a message of encouragement and hope. My purpose to impact people took over!
Many of us are facing real issues and fears that are significant and can be life impacting. Fear can shut us down. Fear can steal the joy from life. Fear can impact relationships.
What fears are currently impacting your life? Can you start to replace them? It’s not a matter of trying harder to overcome those fears. Let’s focus on replacing those fears and regaining the quality of life you desire!
Doug provides professional speaking and coaching services to organizations and individuals. Whether you are looking for a speaker for your next event or a leadership coach to develop people and build a team culture, feel free to reach out to Doug at doug.strickel@gmail.com and learn more about PLUS.
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