Coach Mike, the Movie: An unwilling star of the show

Mike McConathy

By TEDDY ALLEN

Written for the LSWA

(The scene is a cramped meeting room the size of the average American kitchen. Around a small oval table is a girl and two guys, including Scotty, the production manager, dressed in khaki and polo and youthful confidence. Yellow legal pads and paper cups of coffee are involved, pens and markers and laptops, the out-of-place, somewhat lonely Fresca. Scotty speaks …)

“Harvey and the new guy are a couple doors down in Development working on the script, polishing things up — Horatio’s doing some rewrites, a part or two that just didn’t feel right, you know? — but I wanted to get you up to speed on exactly where we are on the doc on Mike McConathy. So me and Larry felt we’d open this way …

“Hey Emmett, please take a sec and skate down to PR and ask them to release that Bossier City native Mike McConathy, the winningest college basketball coach in state history, a prep All-American guard at Airline High and an honorable mention All-American guard for Louisiana Tech before launching a history-making coaching career at Bossier Parish Community College and then Northwestern State, will be enshrined in the Louisiana Sports Hall of Fame Saturday night, June 27, at the Hall of Fame’s home in Natchitoches. Add that ticket information for the seven events over three days of festivities, July 25-27, is available at the LaSportsHall.com or by calling by calling 318-238-4255 …, and remind everyone it’s always sold out so get on the horn and let’s have some fun honoring the Class of 2026. Appreciate. Take off. Come back with an expresso or don’t come back …

“So Coach Mike is driving his truck down a two-lane road where the trees touch over the middle stripe. Got the Location crew scouting for the perfect spot. He’s right at home, happy as a flea at a dog show because this is the man’s wheelhouse. The guy’s face is practically glowing … He’s either driving to any one of the Louisiana high school gyms he’s been to over and over for 40 years OR he’s wearing that big floppy straw hat and we pan to the weed eaters and gas cans and rakes and mowers in the bed … You see where I’m going? It’s a beautiful open, is what it is …

“So Coach Mike is driving down a two-lane heading to a game because that’s where he’s most happy except it’s probably not gonna be Mike because they guy doesn’t toot his own horn. At all. We’re not gonna be able to get him to say anything about himself. Me and T-Money ate lunch with him in Bossier and we get this: ‘I’ve never thought of myself as being better than anybody else. That’s just who I am. I played and coached with unbelievable people. Fans have been very supportive, always. I just never think of myself that way.’ That’s it. Guy just keeps chewing. Swigs water. Like he’s talking about last week’s weather.

“His wife of 48 years and counting, Connie? Met on a blind date. She didn’t know he played basketball. They’d been dating just six months and the junior high kids she was student teaching told her he’d made all-conference. ‘If the students hadn’t told me,’ she says, ‘I still wouldn’t know.’ True story!

“You know how she found out he was in the Hall of Fame? Family text thread. Michael or Logan, one of the sons. No, for real: hand on my heart …

“So somebody who can sell ‘humble and loyal’ and make it authentic — gotta be authentic — will have to play him; he might not even let us take his picture holding a basketball. I’m thinking Bryan Cranston, funny but can get serious. Russell Crowe and go the’ gladiator’ angle, though that might be too … what’s the word? … gruesome? Sweaty? Too Roman?  Woody Harrelson is a frontrunner since he was in a basketball movie, maybe Keanu Reeves with that certain All-American Dude quality. The perfect guy, the PERFECT guy, is Denzel — but he’d really have to sell it … you feel me? Not sure if Harrelson can still dunk, but Denzel can. Like Coach Mike, Denzel can do ANYthing and still be ‘everyman’ …

(Coffee slurps … the tic-tac of keys on a laptop. Somewhere, a dog barks …)

“But humble and loyal won’t get you into the Hall. Coach Mike has the numbers to go with the soul. Double-threat. Best of both worlds. All like that. The ol’ ‘Nice Guys Finish First’ bit — for a nice change.

“Here’s where the numbers tell the story through the clips with people who know him better than anyone …

“High school early ’70s, Airline in Bossier, son of Northwestern State great John McConathy, the fifth pick in the 1951 draft. We’ve got Airline teammates Terry Slack and Steve Haynes, football stars, talking about Mike having keys to the gym, practicing while wearing ankle weights, jumping rope, always working, getting recruited by Oklahoma and LSU and NSU and more, and eventually deciding to go to Ruston with them, just in a different sport …

“Then Tech teammates Tom Morris and Walter May and Tim Floyd and Jim Woolridge, quick bytes about how he’s the most dedicated athlete they’ve ever seen, and that sweet jump shot, no wasted movement, fluid as water from a garden hose, the 9-1 Southland Conference title his junior year, him getting 25 a game and being the league’s Player of the Year …

(Somewhere, a cat meows …)

“Keith Prince, Tech’s sports information director when McConathy played in 1974-77, tells us how Mike got drafted by the Bulls but the ABA/NBA merger cut out 100-plus pro jobs, how he played some European ball, then how he found his way back to Bossier Parish and brief high school gigs before starting the Bossier Parish Community College men’s basketball team with zip, playing in Airline’s gym, and winning 352 games in 16 seasons. Again, the guy did this from scratch. Didn’t have as much as an air pump …

“Then Shreveport’s Wayne Smith, another Tech all-conference and Tech Athletics Hall of Famer a decade after Mike, saying he saw Mike not only win at BPCC, but make sure, with limited resources, his players had food and some kind of housing and a chance, the one thing they needed the most. “Great player and coach,” Smith says on camera, “five-star man.” Game recognizing game. Sound and Music are seeing if the theme from Rocky might be good here, building to …

“The biggie. Northwestern State. The Demons. Where this Bulldog, this guy the Hall’s chairman and almost forever NSU SID Doug Ireland calls ‘a unicorn of a human,’ was ultimately meant to be. We’re talking 330 wins in 23 seasons, 682 total wins when we add 352 wins in 16 seasons at BPCC: Visual Effects is cooking up some snazzy presentation of the numbers. Meanwhile we’ve got Doug rattling off about Coach doing everything off the court from striping parking lots to pro bono weed eating on campus, a semi-continuance of the side biz he had in Bossier to get his Cavaliers some work and to SEE if they’d work …

“You’ll love this: we even have a Building and Grounds guy talking about how he thought Coach was one of THEM until he went to a game and saw the weed eater guy calling timeouts. Is that beautiful or WHAT?! We even have a couple of local non-profit directors saying with not a little embarrassment that they’d originally thought he worked for THEM. The guy was like a yard guy slash fix-it guy for the parish, AND he coached the basketball team. Only thing he lacked was a cape. (Scotty turns to the kid in J.Crew) Emmett, run down to Costume and see if we’ve got a purple and orange cape … might work that in … he did wear those checkerboard purple and orange pants coaching games.

(Somewhere, a crow caws …)

“A blurb of Greg Burke, NSU AD when Mike was coach, thanking his guy for the $5 million-plus his teams brought in from playing 117 guarantee games — including road wins at Auburn, Oklahoma State, Mississippi State, UTEP and neutral-court victories over Oregon State and 15th-ranked Iowa in the 2006 NCAA Tournament. Burke cries a little, understandable, especially when he gets to the part about 90 percent of the Demon hoopsters graduating. NINETY PERCENT! Believe that? …

“Then Chris Maggio tears up. TearFest, I’m telling you. Maggio, lifelong Natty resident and former NSU president. Former high school coach. Maggio takes us from March 1999, when Mike took over a Demons’ program with only five winning seasons and no postseason trips in 24 years of Division I history, to the Southland championship game that first season. And this without making over the roster! It’s a Demon miracle! Glory! …

“Here’s where Chris Thompson jumps in since Chris played for Mike both at BPCC and NSU. Chris describes the joy of winning the SLC title game Mike’s second season and the program earning the first of four postseason tournament appearances. Then we roll clips from those: NCAA 2001, Opening Round win over Winthrop; NCAA 2006, No. 14 seed First Round upset of No. 3 seed and Big Ten Tournament champ Iowa, a game everyone in Natchitoches swears they watched if they weren’t in Auburn Hills, Mich.; NCAA 2013’s First Round loss to eventual NCAA champion Florida, and the 2014 CIT home game. Video montage of those games with nat sound …

“It’s gold, is what it is. You love it! … I can tell by the way you’re smacking your Juicy Fruit. I do too! …

“And so, The End. On-court buckets and hugs. Sweaty time outs. Family pics. A quick blurb of Mike’s haberdasher saying, “He didn’t invent the mock turtleneck,” — this is courtside through tears after the buzzer-beater over Iowa, “he merely perfected it.” Oh! — almost forgot: some sentimental footage from February 15 last year when they named the Prather Coliseum court after him. THE WHOLE COURT! People DO this sort of thing? Guess we should get that in, amiright? LOL! Good stuff.

“Big Finish, but like Coach Mike, understated. A comment from — get this — the straw hat. The big nasty straw hat he wears when he’s weed eating the world. We’ve got Creative on it now, to make it work. All the hat says, shyly but with gratitude, is this: ‘I know I’m just a hat. A hat that needs an oil change, if we’re being honest. Just an ordinary hat. But when I’m on Coach Mike’s head, somehow, I feel more like a crown.’

(Fade to black. And purple. And orange …)