I’m trying to be patient these days. Our house is at the corner of Cedar Creek Road and Foxx Creek Drive – the gray wooden one with the big red abstract sculpture in the front yard, the house that the new road coming in from West Kentucky almost runs straight into.
If you haven’t driven by there recently and you’re in town, you might want to do so – very carefully, of course, because of all the construction – and you might see why I’ve been thinking about patience lately.
But I haven’t prayed for patience. At least I don’t recall doing so – because you know what they say:
– Never pray for patience unless you want it tested.
– Or, don’t pray for God to teach you patience. You won’t like what he’ll put you through to learn it.
I’ve always thought such statements were a bit strange. I mean, they seem to reveal an unsavory image of a God – our Heavenly Father – who would in essence punish us for taking our faith more seriously. What’s more, patience is a fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5, and people never seem to talk in that fashion about the other qualities noted there. You know the list: love, joy, peace, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
So if we pray for those other qualities, why not patience? Well, considering the statements bulleted above, I think the answer could possibly be related to this idea: I want some patience, God, and I want it right now!
As I was thinking about this recently, I came across an article by Tom Gilson titled, “Don’t Pray for Patience.” Several of his ideas really made sense.
“God didn’t create me to become great at toughing things out,” Gilson wrote. “He created me as someone to love. He created me to love him. And he created me to live in loving relationship with others. Yes, scripture speaks often about growing in patience, learning endurance and so on, but patience itself isn’t the point.
“Rather, patience … is the emotional fruit of trust in God. Impatience is a way of telling God I don’t think he’s doing his job right. It’s an expression of distrust toward God’s wisdom, his goodness and his timing.”
What’s more, Gilson said, impatient relationships are self-centered relationships. It’s not love if I expect you to operate on my agenda and my schedule. “When it comes to relationships, love is the point …,” Gilson added. “Patience counts interpersonally precisely because it is a way of loving.”
So that’s the reason behind his headline. He says don’t pray for patience. Pray for love and trust instead.
Sounds good. But when we look at the definition of love in I Corinthians 13:4, the very first sentence is “Love is patient and kind.” By God’s plan, his very first word to describe agape love is patience. Wow. How could we not want to pray for that? Especially when it’s modeled after God’s love for us.
Of course, you can find almost anything at all that you want on the internet and anything at all to coincide with your beliefs. So I wasn’t surprised to find another article with the exact opposite headline from the one quoted earlier: “Why You Should Pray for Patience.”
This author, Katie Rapp, wrote, “Jesus says in Matthew 7:7-8 to ‘Ask and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.’ We can simply ask for more patience. That is amazing and freeing. All we have to do is ask.”
Frankly, both authors speak truth. Patience is often tough to practice and sometimes tough to wrap our heads around. What I do know is that it is important. It’s mentioned too many times in the Bible to deny that fact – around 70 different references, with some sources pointing out even more.
I’ll leave you with what the Apostle Paul said in Colossians 3:12: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Let’s take these words to heart.
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Sallie Rose Hollis lives in Ruston and retired from Louisiana Tech as an associate professor of journalism and the assistant director of the News Bureau. She can be contacted at sallierose@mail.com.